Life..

is about finding a way to use what is, to influence what will be. With the guidance of what was.

John Patterson

Nice one! :)

Sunk cost

Just because you have something, doesnt mean you have to use it even if it decreases productivity.

It is a common trap humans tend to fall into. 

The question is, given r0 resources and utility function f(x) [measures the amount of benefit you derive from x resources], what is utility that can be derived? The key point to note is that f(x) is NOT always increasing.. which means, the answer is not f(r0) but the maximum of all f(x) where x <= r and then find the maximum. It is likely that this is achieved at r1 < r0. This would especially be true when there are say N resources x1,x2,x3...xN. These could refer to internet, phone, number of chairs, food, lights, furniture whatever. And in this case, the utility function would be f(x1,x2,x3...xN). And f(r0,a2,a3...aN) is not necessarily > f(r1,a2,x3..xN) (where x2, x3 etc are kept constant at a2 a3 unless they vary with x0) if r0 > r1. So we get the feeling that r1-r0 is "wasted". But no! We care about f not x, ie. the output is more important than the input. If you are getting more out of less, we should use less, even if more is available. Even if we paid for the more. The cost of r0 is a "Sunk cost" and it should have no part to play in how the resources are utilized.

Why is it so hard to install eclipse on linux?

Harder than anything I have installed.  Not nice.

Let gooooooo and you will flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :D

The trick is to make yourself as close to weightless as possible... you can do that by letting go of all the weight you carry (Duh!!). And you will keep flying as long as you dont worry about falling down. Fear is pretty heavy, you see!

Just keep gliding.. and enjoy the view! :D 

Perfection.

That beautiful state of bliss where nothing else really matters... :)

Change

People change. Life changes. You change! It cant be avoided. Just learn to adapt and live with it.

So much to learn..

so much to understand. No time to waste! Not a second!

To the quest for complete knowledge! 

True appreciation...

Money follows hype. Recognition follows hype. "Success" follows hype. No, they don't follow excellence.

The truth is that the world has become too big (although we say it is shrinking) for excellence to thrive on its own. There is too much going on that it needs to supported by a good dose of marketing / hype. And the interesting thing is, mediocrity supported by hype will be more recognized because most of us have lost the ability to evaluate something (or even someone) on our own. The "shrinking" world has increased information density tremendously and since there is so much competition, to make information stand out, it is constantly being processed and repackaged.  And we fall for the packaging like sitting ducks. Because it is too much work to evaluate something independently, see? And since we are busy taking in more processed information, lets us just outsource the thinking part. In essence, we are hiring someone else to THINK for us. 

Appreciating true beauty requires you to understand it. Feel it. It takes effort. We are too lazy to put in the effort. We have been pampered so much by all the processed ready-to-eat information that we keep eating it and follow the hype like a herd of sheep.

True satisfaction comes from excellence. Not recognition. Not money. Not glory. Not success.  

The interesting thing is, true satisfaction also comes from true appreciation. Appreciating excellence. Genuinely. Because YOU think it is awesome and not because someone told you it is supposed to be awesome. So, try as we might to eat processed information and feel like we know everything, we dont. We are puppets who have lost our independence and feel so very comfortable about it.

No, actually we dont feel comfortable about it. I am sure of it. I refuse to believe that this is the limit of human pride. It has been shown otherwise. So, let us start thinking for ourselves and stop riding the bubble someone else has created. It takes effort. Let us put in effort. I know that deep deep inside our hearts, all us want to be free.

Slow down.

You dont have to keep going forward. Every once in a while, it is wise to take a step back to check your bearings.

Otherwise, you will mindlessly be running all over the place.

Star Trek

In my endeavour to graduate from being a pseudo geek to a real geek, I have been diligently watching Star Trek

Apparently, according to my friend "You are not a geek if you haven't watched every episode of the star trek series and the movies atleast twice and can recite the Klingon alphabets in reverse."

Sure, he was exaggerating a bit but I hadnt watched ANY movie or ANY episode of star trek at that point so I was like "What the hell is Klingon?". I didnt say it to avoid getting disowned ofcourse but I was determined to pass this (hopefully) last test that prevented me from calling myself a geek in front of other geeks.

And so, during the last 3 weeks, I set aside the time to watch all 10 star trek movies and I will unabashedly admit that I loved them! Lots of really cool and wide ranging sci-fi concepts have been explored.. in a pretty sensible way. Of course there are loopholes and ambiguities in the explanations (especially in the time travel stuff) but I call it the "sci-fi writer's license to bullshit so he can sound cool". Somewhat like a Rajnikant movie except significant thought has  been put in so that it makes sense on the whole.

Next stop: The series - 726 episodes across 30 seasons.

Set the main thrusters to warp 6 captain. Full speed ahead!

Geeks DIchDaq Suq tera' (means "Geeks shall inherit the earth" [in Klingon ;)])
Resistance is futile!

Advice

I lovvvved this post! I think it pretty much sums up all I wanted to say:
http://www.pluginid.com/stop-taking-advice/

To add on though, this is also relevant when we GIVE advice. Very often we feel our advice makes a lot of sense and are annoyed when the other person sees things differently. Well, it perfectly natural. Try as you might, it is impossible to be another person. We don't have the technology (brain surgery?) to do that yet. The most helpful you can get is to share your experience, share experience others' experience and share your perspective. And remember, as "right" as you might sound to yourself, you might sound equally "wrong" to the other person and there is nothing contradictory about that.

Everything in this universe is relative! :)

Giving unconditionally

Recently, my friend and I were talking about giving unconditionally.

Caring about the next person is one thing, caring about the next person without expecting ANY form of future returns is quite another.

What do I mean by unconditional?

You are not giving because you believe that good karma will come back to you in the future. You are not giving to build a relationship. You act of giving is not driven at any level (not even subconsciously) by possible future returns.

Instead it is driven by the joy you feel when you give. You giving to another person for the same reason you play snake 3D on your new mobile phone. It makes you happy. And that is the extent of the reward you seek and the beauty is that your reward / returns are certain. So, even if you get screwed by this person in the future, you wont feel betrayed.

Is that even possible? Yes, I think many have us have given unconditionally at some point but what if it became a way of life? It would be incredibly liberating!! :)

Joel on Software

http://www.joelonsoftware.com/

This was recommended to me by a close friend.

He said "Read ALL his articles. Yes, he is THAT good".

And yes he is THAT good so I want to share it with you. If you are remotely connected to the software industry in any way (and in today's world, there is very less chance you aren't), please go read.

Slowing down...

Very nice article!
http://www.thehindubusinessline.com/manager/2010/09/20/stories/2010092050590600.htm

Dont ever quit.

Only shift priorities when necessary.

There is nothing you cannot do. It just a matter of time and effort. All you need to decide is whether the effort / time is worth it.

In other words, if you truly want something, you just have to go and get it.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Hmmmm

Life is full of interesting experiences. Some are fun, some are not so much fun but most are interesting if we look at them the right way. And most have potential opportunities.

And well, it could definitely have been worse. :)

I want to write this again.

Prepare hard. Be sincere. Stay true to your heart. And just do it.

What has to happen, will happen :)

Something tells me this is all I need to internalize to be truly happy and satisfied.

Chef Nishanth's number threee

Fried Rice. Tasted as awesome as it looks! :P Had plenty of help from Decembermist and lots of guidance from dearest mom ofcourse :)

Just do it.

Prepare hard. Be sincere. Stay true to your heart. And just do it.

What has to happen, will happen :)

Hello dal!

Take 3 with lots of veggies (including some obviously oversized carrots)

Tastes like dal too! :D

Next up, is rasam.

Dal - take 2

Blurred because my hand started shaking due to the heat. But it is starting to slowly resemble dal. I think take 3 will make it

Oh and remember, dal takes forever to cook. You can never underestimate its uncookability.

"Dal"

Well, almost. And well, its my first time! :P

Will remove the quotes soon enough haha

Spreading happiness..

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/TECH/web/08/02/8.sites.brighten.day/index.html?iref=obinsite#fbid=dWScOQHwenb&wom=true

Friendship day

I think the whole concept is hilarious. Just 2 months ago there was a "Best friends day". Blah.

You think I am your friend? Awesome! It is a privilege to have your support. Thank you and please continue being one.. I really appreciate it.
You dont need to wish me on some random day decided by some random dude so he could sell more greeting cards. And if you send me sms spam / email spam / facebook spam about some friendship day, I consider it very unfriendly and insensitive.

Banker to the Poor

I have recently taken a keen interest in microfinance. And considering that, at Credit Mobile, we are planning to start a company that would use mobile technology to help the rural popor, I felt I had to become an expert on the needs of the rural poor.

And I felt the best person to seek advice from was Muhammad Yunus.

"Banker to the Poor" is the autobiography of Muhammad Yunus, a Economics professor from Bangladesh who was so moved by the poverty that followed the Bangladesh famine (1974 - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bangladesh_famine_of_1974) that he started a new branch of economics called microfinance. And no, he didnt just teach it to his students, he implemented a revolutionary concept and started the Grameen bank (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grameen_Bank) which has spread its wings in 80000 villages over the world both in developed and developing countries alike. It had a turnover of USD 93 million in 2009, and 7.41 million members.

So what is micro-finance?

Imagine Nagamma, a widow with 2 kids residing in a village. She has no land and lives in a hut. Being an aging woman, she cannot engage in daily labour. She makes baskets at home and sell it to make some money but she doesn't even have money to pay for raw materials.

Private lenders see an opportunity and give her money at ridiculous interest rates (50-100% p.a). They make sure that after paying these loans back, she has just enough to feed herself and cannot save any money. Nagamma stays in poverty. Not because she is lazy. Not because she cant earn money. But because nobody wants to lend her a few cents to buy straw.

Why about banks, you ask? Banks consider these "micro" loans as having "high risk" of default and they ask Nagamma for collateral.
"If I had collateral, I wouldn't be asking you for money. I promise to pay it back with interest. Please trust me", says Nagamma.
"Sorry, the system doesn't work like that. We need collateral", says the branch manager.

And we are stuck!

Yunus realized that for people like Nagamma , their collateral is their life. You are giving them one chance to survive and fend for themselves. They know not to abuse it. They are probably the most credit worthy people you will find.

And that is the core of micro-finance. Lending small amounts to a large number of people who want it invest it to earn money. The typical recovery rate of loans is really high - around 98-99%. You earn money by charging high (15-20%) interest rates to cover your processing costs. It is usually structured as a for-profit social enterprise. And it has helped raise millions out of poverty in the last 20 years.

Apart from the obvious knowledge I gained in microfinance, the book was probably the best I read for a number of other reasons:

1. It is the journey of a successful man from a relatively well to do but conventional family in Bangladesh, who went to US on the fullbright scholarship, gained exposure, came back to his country and was moved into action by what he saw. Being a fairly successful student from a developing country studying in a developed country who wants to go back to his home country, it echoed very well with me.

2. Yunus doesnt tell you what to do. He says what he did. He tells you his experience and his take-aways from his experience.

3. It taught me about true initiative. Yunus was a man of tremendous initiative. The book shows how much change we can create if we got off our chairs and did something about things we feel were not right. He shows that most "experts" have no clue what they are talking about. T

4. It taught me what a social enterprise really meant. Why profit should not be the sole driver when you start a company if we want to achieve real growth. How the whole "profit maximization" assumption on which modern economics is flawed.

5. I used to believe in "be happy and satisfied with what you have" but wasn't quite comfortable with the complacency it induced in me as there was nothing to work towards. This book taught me how to find a balance. Now, I believe in "Be happy with what you have. But remember that there are people as deserving as you, who dont have even a hundredth of what you have." And I can be happy with what I have and have something to work towards!

I would highly recommend reading it if you are interested in microfinance, economics, social entrepreneurship, management or just want to broaden your view of the world.

Hello, my dear Culicidae

I am back. And I want blood. 

So do you.

My electric bat and highly developed brain vs your annoying proboscis and admirable zest to procreate. 

Let the fight begin!

Time and again, I am proven right.

Yet, it is taking me so much time to believe 100% in myself and go with what I think is right.

I guess it is part of a process and I believe it is a positive process.. Slow and steady..

Too much of a good thing is bad

Suppose you wanted your techie friend to help you set up a website. How would you proceed?

Instinct would probably say
Go to friend, say "Hey can you help me set up a website? Thanks so much" and friend helps.

Most self help books would say "You don't just keep asking people for help.. you should always look for a way to compensate. Or you try to find out what is in it for them"

So, you go and tell him
"Hey you like to do tech stuff right? I thought you would find it interesting to help me set website.." and well, since you put it in his terms, he is more willing to help.

Makes sense, right?

Not always.

Now Imagine yourself in the place of this friend.

What if the person asking you for help was wrong about fact that you would find it interesting to help you set up a website? Or what if you do find it interesting, but you have more interesting things to do? But being the nice person that you are, you wont tell your friend "no I dont like setting up websites.". WHy not? Because it causes a stalemate. You understand that he needs your help to set up a website, you will help - not because it is interesting but because you naturally want to help a friend. And when you do something like that, all you want your friend to do is to appreciate the favour. Genuinely. Thats all.

But when your friend thinks HE is doing YOU a favour by giving you the opportunity to do something interesting, things screw up. There is an expectation mismatch. You feel your friend owes you one and your friend feels he has partially compensated by making it interesting for you. This is when you feel manipulated.

Let me clarify. I understand the intentions are good. Nobody wants to screw anyone. But there is unnecessary complication because of false assumptions that are made. Which leads to an expectation mismatch.

So we need to find a balance between being natural and following strategies to influence people. I believe by nature most people are nice. They want to help. And they will help just to feel the satisfaction of making someone's life easier.

And another important point to note is that if you want to help someone, it is important to realise that what the person wants may not be the same as what you think the person should want. And as right as you might sound to yourself, to the other person, you might sound equally wrong. Be wary of perspectives.
Dont generalise.  If you must make systems, understand that all systems are based on assumptions that we easily lost track of. And these assumptions might not always hold.

Red ants and home food

They love my laptop. I have no idea where they come from but they come.. near my laptop. Strange bedfellows.

Home food. Is awesome.

Thank you!

"My luck was accentuated by my living in a market system that sometimes produces distorted results, though overall it serves our country well... I've worked in an economy that rewards someone who saves the lives of others on a battlefield with a medal, rewards a great teacher with thank-you notes from parents, but rewards those who can detect the mispricing of securities with sums reaching into the billions. In short, fate's distribution of long straws is wildly capricious."

Warren Buffet.

Loved it. Capricious indeed! :)

Warren Buffet on gold..

It gets dug out of the ground in Africa, or someplace. Then we melt it down, dig another hole, bury it again and pay people to stand around guarding it. It has no utility. Anyone watching from Mars would be scratching their head.

[Chapter 3- The first walk]

The walk was nice. I managed to find a map. And I decided to walk around.. take in the awesome weather with the cool air and a touch of sunlight. It was a pretty curious place. There were these quaint 19th century buildings. and there were these little “potti kadais” (roadside shop) tucked inside. Sometimes there were even supermarkets hiding inside those buildings. And there were these occasional teenagers who would hand you a flyer and say something in Polish. You would stare amused at the letters on the paper, play a short game of “find the vowels”, give up and throw it into the nearest dustbin.

After I while, I was hungry. I walked into one of those shops in the quaint buildings and picked up some yogurt. I handed the lady a 50 Zloty note.

“Don’t you have smaller change?”
Sideways shake of the head to signify “no”
“Ok then. 10, 20, 30, 40, 45, 47, 47.5”
“Thank you”

All in Polish ofcourse (even the sideways shaking)

The yoghurt was good. But I hadn’t found my converter – so I walked.. till I got lost. Then I took my map, found the place and realized I had no clue where the hotel was on the map. I headed toward the nearest main road and tried retracing my path.

And lo and behold, after a while I end in this awesome place with a large mall, Hard Rock Café and what not. I walked in, went into 4 floors of “Empic” – a stationery chain which didn’t have what I want and finally found a hypermarket. It was Challengers I think. Anyways, I managed to find my converter picked up 2, though it would cost 10 zoltys, ended up paying 40 odd Zlotys, came back to the hotel.

Just outside the hotel, I saw this wall – which reminded me of the country horrific past:



I had dinner at the hotel (Microsoft sponsored) and put my aching limbs to rest.

Problems -> Solutions

I have been getting bogged down a by problems lately. Getting stuck. Complaining. Looking for a way out instead of forcing my way out. I am becoming myopic. I feel myself devoid of the freedom I used to be proud of.

And it is amazing how quickly things move when your mental make-up changes from the caged nature of "Oh no, there are so many problems - this cant be happening to me!" to the freedom of "Assume the worst - solve the problem - move forward."

Assume the worst. Solve the problem. Move on. Dont sit inside a cage.

You are here to do bigger things - solve bigger problems! You cant be wasting time on getting bogged down by your own little trivial issues - they are just distractions.. and shouldnt be eating up so much time!

1 year to go.. no time to waste. Think 1 year. Think 10 years. Dont think 1 week. Focus!

Dziękuję Warszawa, Dziękuję Microsoft! [Chapter 2 – Hotel Microsoft]

I reached Zurich in the morning on the 2nd after witnessing the beauty of the Alps from above. I had 3 hours left my connecting flight, so I decided to step out and inhale the cool Zurich air with Alps providing a tranquil backdrop as I set foot for the first time on European soil. I roamed around for a while, checked out the airport mall, ogled at the German signs and the prices in Swiss Francs, realized I didn’t have Swiss Francs, and finally ended up back in the airport. The departure area was a single long corridor dotted with plenty of chairs and door on either side taking you down to the respective gates. I sat on one of the chairs next to my door (this was 40 mins before departure) and saw just 5 other people. But by the time I had grinned at the lady near the door who checked my ticket and said “poittu vaanga”, 50 passengers had appeared out of nowhere. And so I sat in the 4-seats-row-flight, chatted for a while (yes, I had wifi inside the aeroplane :D), and had the vegetarian sandwich offered after take off.

When I landed in Warsaw, I realized I hadn’t informed Microsoft of my arrival but they had hired an agency to stand at the airport all day and pick up anyone who responded to the Imagine Cup Sign and bring them to the hotel every half an hour. As I waited for my bus to have enough people to justify a trip, I saw some interesting pictures on magazines, realized I could withdraw Zlotys directly using my DBS ATM card, got a SIM card, spoke to a judge who had come and spoke to the girl holding the Imagine cup sign. I also shared the story of the Indian from Singapore who was representing Sweden with the Kenyan press who refused to believe that this place wouldn’t accept Euros. Sleepily, with the jet-lag headache building up, I “read” the unreadable Polish signs all along the way till we finally reached Hotel Novotel Warszawa around 2pm on Friday, the 2nd of July.

There was Microsoft all over the place! We got a free bag, T-Shirt, bag, tourist guide book, and a map at the reception. There was a huge banner which read Imagine Cup outside the 20-storey hotel. The LCD monitors in the lobby talked about Imagine Cup. The whole hotel was buzzing with Imagine Cup! At this point, I couldn’t help but Imagine what the conversation would have been between Microsoft and the Novotel Manager –

"Hi, Novotel? I am XYZ from Microsoft. I need to make a booking"
"Sure, sir.. (sipping some beer) When would you be visiting?"
"1st to 9th July.."
"How many rooms would you like to book, sir?"
"Well, actually, I want to book the hotel"
"(Cought.. Sputter) The hotel, sir?"
"Yes, the entire hotel"
“(Cough) All right, sir. Please speak to my boss.”

And well, I guess a couple of million Zlotys would have exchanged hands after that.

But anyways, I got my card to access the room, realized it didn’t work, got another card, locked myself out, got yet another card and finally flopped into the luxurious bed. Then, I felt dirty, took a bath in the bathtub - I wanted a shower actually but couldn’t figure out how to operate it and made a mess of my hair, eyes.. Actually lets skip the bathtub part. Point is, I took a bath and realized I had forgotten to get a converter for the powerpoint.. So I decided to take a walk and see if I could buy one without running to Hotel reception for help.

Dziękuję Warszawa, Dziękuję Microsoft! [Chapter 1 – Departure]

I just returned from my first ever trip outside Asia – an all expenses paid outing to Warsaw, Poland for a week. It was, as you would expect, a really amazing experience and I felt it deserved a nice long account for 3 reasons.

1) To consolidate all that I learnt and experienced in the trip so I can chuckle over it on my 35th birthday.

2) To have a readymade link that I can point people to when they ask "Hey, how was the trip"?

3) To attain closure and move on with my relatively mundane existence in Singapore.

So, what was I doing in Warzsawa (read WarshAwa)? Representing Sweden (Heja Sverige! {read Heya Sveriya} [wow so many brackets in one line]) in the Imagine Cup 2010.

Sweden? Imagine Cup?

Imagine Cup is the world’s largest student technology competition, organized by Microsoft. The supposed aim of the competition is to tackle UN’s millennium development goals using technology; but I figured it was more of an effective way for Microsoft to rebrand themselves as the friendly and socially responsible corporation which makes cool software – a title that belongs to Google right now.

A close friend who is on an exchange-ish type of programme in Sweden, thought it might be a good idea to repackage an ambitious concept we had been working on to connect banks and villagers, and submit an entry into Imagine Cup. The idealist that I was, I felt we were fooling ourselves. But the great presenter that he was, he talked his way to the top in the Swedish regionals (ably supported by myself of course ;)).

Realizing that we were 3 Indians (another friend from India included) in a Swedish team, we decided to recruit a cool Swedish entrepreneur who was doing his masters. My friend in India sadly couldn’t make it for various reasons, so 2 Indians and a Swede got a trip to Poland to represent CreditMobile in the worldwide finals fully sponsored by Microsoft.

And so it came to be that after a crazy few weeks of juggling Credit Mobile, my internship, random freelance projects and house-shifting, I left on a 12-hour Airbus 380 (double decker :D) SQ flight to Zurich on the 2^nd of July.

RealAcad Learning..

'Bitter-sweet' strategy: Remember the story of how the wise master stopped his apprentice from complaining?

Tired of constant complaints, one morning, the wise master sent his apprentice some salt and asked him to mix it with a glass of water and drink it.

'How is it?' the master asked.

'Bitter,' spat the apprentice.

He then took him to a lake, poured the same amount of salt in it and asked him to taste the water.

'It tastes fresh and sweet,' the apprentice replied.

'The pain of life is the salt. No more. No less. The amount of pain always remains the same. However, the amount of bitterness we taste depends on the container we put it in. So, when you are in pain, enlarge your sense of things.' said the wise master. 

This week, let's remind ourselves to stop being the glass, and become the lake

Good one! :)

Polska!

I am sitting in my room Warsaw (or Warszawa (spelt warshawa) as the people here call it) for the final round of the Imagine Cup 2010.
Tomorrow, we present.. There is plenty of work to be done...
I have been going around the city - quaint would be the perfect word to describe it. The place still has stone carriageways in many places and 1900s style buildings. There are trams as well, and the occasional malls. Plenty of cars.. quite a few cyclists. A huge tower stands in the city center - a gift from the Russians (that the citizens not to blow apart). The city was 80% destroyed by the Nazis and it is indeed amazing how they have rebuilt it.
As I enjoy a Microsoft sponsored week in luxury, I think the following "imagine"d conversation sums up the Imagine Cup part of things..

"Hi, Novotel? I am from Microsoft. I need to make a booking"

"Sure, sir. When would you be visiting?"

"1st to 10th July.."

"How many rooms would you like to book, sir?"

"Well, actually, I want to book the hotel"

"The hotel, sir?"

"Yes, the entire hotel"

Smile :)

And keep smiling :)

If you want to be happy, be. :)

"Keep adding value to people till they take you for granted. If they don't, try harder. As these are the people who matter." - Eric Blumson

It is when we all play safe that we create a world of utmost insecurity. - Dag Hammarskjold (from Rohan's blog)

Trivia:
Dag Hammarskjold (Swedish) was the second secretary general of the UN. He died when he was in office in a place crash when he was flying to negotiate a ceasefire in Africa.

Go FedEx!

Number 7 awaits you!

Trust, and other random thoughts

I paid $150 to slow down the greying of my hair a little. Felt it was completely worth it!

But now, it looks like I will enter into another mess I thought I was out of. I didnt set up proper communication channels I guess.. Did I trust too much maybe? Trust is a game I am naturally not very comfortable with.. but something I am pushing myself to develop. What is it that I am so scared of losing anyways? My reputation I guess.. hmmm. Buffet says thats more important than money, and I d agree.

So question is how do you trust someone else with your reputation? The answer is i believe, you have no choice. At some point, you need to. You just find ways to hedge the risk :)

A glimpse of hope

♫ A glimpse of hope..
faded away just as it came
Left me to grope..
'cept the darkness was ne'er the same.

Rest

One 7 hour sleep.. totally unintended.. but changed the entire game!

From "Phew its its Friday, and I still  need to work all weekend!", I became "oooooh its Friday! I have 2 full days to work on credit mobile!".

Was totally worth it. It's good to put important before urgent. Sure, you screw up the urgent stuff but what's life without a few screw ups? ;)

Grace

Under pressure is what separates leaders from the rest..

From rohan's blog on Monday.. felt it was a good time to remind myself..

Be graceful! :)

I am working hard..

I haven't slept properly.. I am hungry and I have lots of work to do.. my irritably is perfectly justified.

That may be so but
1. It is still your choice.
2. That doesn't justify why someone else should be dragged into your pit of irritability.

So stop being a jerk and smile. :)

It's is good to push yourself..

But pushing yourself without thinking is the pinnacle of naivety

Dorakuna Itu Vanti Seva?

Seems apt as I look into the clouds immersed in the song in Raaga Bilahari at 630am.. A cool morning breeze blowing gently.. bread in hand. Just happy. Thankful for all I have. And so much to look forward to.. Not worrying about the list of tasks to complete in the 1 odd hour left before I leave for work.. (and hopefully reach on time! )

Life is beautiful! :)

Dorakuna Itu Vanti Seva? -"Will it ever be possible to have the blessed privilege of such a Darshana?"

Will it indeed! :D

Intense day..

7 learnings..

1)  Working hard does mean you starve. Yes, you are eating food as normal but for some reason, you stomach is screaming out that it is starving. SO EAT!!!

2) Caffeine can keep me awake yes, but I get a feeling I am abusing it. I feel unclean. And I dont even like coffee. Well it tastes ok with Milo, by why should I consume 2 - 2.5 spoons of coffee a day? I must stop.. Coffee cannot substitute sleep.  If I am drinking coffee, it means I am not managing my time well enough to get good sleep. It is important to recognize this and work towards instead of thinking everything is hunky dory because I got 13.5 points.

3) When you call someone ask "Is this a good time to talk?" even if they ask you to call at that time. (Unless it is uber urgent)

4) My SQL isnt as good as I thought it was. Need to brush up.

5) The Directors at Credit Suisse are really nice and passionate. It is such a pleasure talking to them.. today we met a guy who was a front office salesman. He was soo sharp, and overflowing with enthusiasm. Share a lot of information. And we were after all interns. He spent a good 1 and a half hours with us.

6) Follow up from 5. Be like the Credit Suisse Directors. Spread t he knowledge, and help lift people up. It is the highest form of achievement possible.

7) Be happy. Spread happiness. "Dont hate! Love, or be neutral". Everything in life is beautiful. Its all a matter of perspective :)

Weekends

I am slowly starting to realizing their beauty.

I am also understand what "Monday morning blues" are. Except its Sunday night.

But my week begins early - on sunday night.

I need the unwinding on saturday and sunday. It's worth it. It recharges my battery. Makes Monday-Friday worth working.

And I love this go all out on weekdays and relax on weekends concept. Both complement each other - and make the other all the more satisfying! Although you wish the weekends were just that little bit longer, I guess I ll get used to it.

Need to perfect it now - there are kinks to be ironed out but we ll get there!

And as a dear friend put it, onward to a happy and busy week! :D

Check mail in PGP - without bunking work.

Its a Saturday. Office is closed. And its vacation time. There is no cluster leader during vacations.
And there is a power shutdown (not that it matters in this context, but still, no food, no nanyang supermarket, no LIFT, and no desktop. and no fan. and no light in the bathroom. and no lot of other things we are so shamelessly dependent on.)

And you want that account statement you think is in your mailbox. But you obviously dont have your mailbox key because you didnt think it was a smart idea to take half-day in office just to get the mailbox key from the extremely helpful people at admin office who are available strictly from 9-5 on weekdays only.

Ok before we proceed further - status check.

Are you lost?

What is a mailbox key you ask?

Its an old form of encryption.

And why do you need a mailbox key to check mail?

Because the SNAIL mail protocol uses it. I cant help it.

What is SNAIL mail?

It is a rudimentary form of communication in the real world which involves the tedious process of writing on paper, inserting into envelope, pasting stamp etc. and physically walking to a postbox and dropping it. And then you need to physically go get the mail from the mailbox because it doesnt support POP / IMAP etc. And yeah, it is still used sometimes for important stuff.

Anyways, now that everyone is onboard, the question is - So how?

This is how.

Step 1. Take a fork. Go to mailbox. TRy putting it into the hole to take the mails out. Realize that it doesnt work too well. And the process is too slow. Actually, this not that important. Just for self realisation. (and to make the number of steps = 3)

Step 2. Go to laundry looking for a wire hanger that u can straighten. But there are no hangers in R6 laundry, stupid! Yeah, I know. But go to laundry room nevertheless. Reason you go is less important than the act of going itself.

Find this curious instrument (christened the SplitMailSabre) under one of the washing machines. If you dont, try to find it elsewhere. It is key to success. Buy it if you must.

The SplitMailSabre:



Step 3:

It took me 5 mins to take out close to 25mails. Dont be worried if the cleaners / guards are walking around and see you. They dont care. Just do it as if it is the normal way to take mail out of the mailbox.

Oh and no, i didnt find my account statement there. Which is the irony of the situation. Infact, I didnt find anything useful addressed to me.

Disclaimer:

Please use this technique only to get your OWN mail without bunking work. The author(s) of this blog is/are not liable for any kind of misuse of the information provided here-in for illegal / unethical purposes.

The author is also not responsible if you are unable to find the The SplitMailSabre in the specified place.

PS: If you are the one who placed the SplitMailSabre in the laundry room, please accept my sincere gratitude.

PPS: Yes, I know the video doesnt show me take out the mail. Which means you have no proof. Of anything. HA! (Not that there is anything to get proof of in the first place. )

Good day!

Had review session at work. People are very happy. Which is boring - but suits me now. I need to simplify non-CM parts of life.

Microsoft seems to have agreed to pay. Need to focus on CM. Really focus. Obsess over it. There are just 2 weeks left.

Sorry

Dear body,

Sorry for abusing you like this. I promise to make it up to you.

Please understand and cooperate like you always have.

Thanks!
Nishanth

Phew!

This is turning out to be a intense week! Last couple of weeks were also tight but I managed to mostly stay afloat.

Now, I am slowly beginning to get pulled under from different sides and it is forcing me to rapidly prioritize, plan and execute to keep things moving. Which is tiring but very exciting. So far it has been great fun but it is ever so easy for things to become spin out of control. And this time, I was so determined to stop that from happening that I was able to turn the crisis switch on earlier than usual. Crisis mode is always fun - but I hope there isnt much damage done this time around. Cannot compromise.

Perspectives

I am a strong believer in perspectives. Perspective changes everything.

Yet, some perspectives are ridiculously hard to achieve. Like the one where you look at yourself as an outsider. Maybe I can step back - but can I look at myself as another person would? No, I cannot. I am restricted by me. The assumptions  I make about myself. The curse of knowledge. Knowledge about myself.

I have always maintained that the person who knows you best is yourself. I still hold on to that. But then, I realize it is a biased perspective. To see that knowledge in its raw form objectively is very difficult. It is too complex. So we have checkpoints. Abstractions. Assumptions. Axioms. Call it what you want, but it is biased.

I hold that I do not care about how the world sees me as long as I am true to myself. But how do I know if I am lying to myself about being true? The conscience. Yes, it pricks sometimes. Hey, this is not the right thing. But what is the right thing anyways if it is not relative to the external world? How can you just be true to yourself when you are interacting with the external world? Ofcourse I care about how the world sees me. Infact, that is how I define being true to myself. If I am to focus on the "me" which is truly outside external influence, the whole system of measurement would change. But no, I wont go there. I am scared to go there. The whole world would collapse. So what? No no no. I wont go there. Not yet.

So, I care about what the world thinks of me. It defines my values.  Yet, I cannot see myself as the world sees me.

That is what good friends are for. To tell me that I am the problem.

Look before you leap!

Especially when you angry. Anger tends to make your view myopic.

I was totally exhausted..

and half way through convincing myself to dump my work and go to sleep.

And my lovely sister had this on her status:

When life gets you down you know whatchu gotta do? Just keep Swimmin'! Just keep swimmin'!Just keep swimmin' swimmin' swimmin' What do we do? we swim swim.

I asked her why so much excitement and she sent me this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxB_TemN1pc

Gave me that little extra firepower to last the night!

Thank you sis! :)

Preliminary analysis

Judging people is never easy. Yet, your brain often jumps to conclusions using half-data. A quick preliminary analysis using stereotypes and probability. 

This ability of our brain is not a bad thing. 

For instance, we were interviewing our country manager ( and ex-finance minister of the philippines) today. He was talking about his biggest take-away from Harvard Business school other than the network he developed - How to make decisions using partial information. It is an important skill to have because in the real world, our information is hardly going to be complete. We usually have information with varying degrees of accuracy, reliability and completeness. Yet we need to take a call with what you have! If we wait for the full information, the decision might become irrelevant. 

A popular example:

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

False information - yet we understand. The brain sees, it spots patterns.. if there are holes, it fills it with patterns it already knows and tries to make sense of it. Sometimes this might be easy and sometimes hard. 

But the key point to note is that, in doing so, you face the risk that these fillings your brain does are wrong. Sometimes it does these fillings without us being consciously aware of it..  Ofcourse, it is less likely to make mistakes if has had more experience / patterns in its repository. But it can still go wrong. You cant know every pattern there is to know. Every now and then you are going to come against something new, and there is a good chance you will be wrong.

So, how can we expect our snapshot of a person (a very complex entity) in 5 minutes to be accurate? It months of interaction to even begin to understand a person.. there are so many variables and each person is unique. Unique DNA. Unique pattern. So, there is nothing for your brain to match against.. it just uses trends from people you have already met, and stereotypes that have been programmed into you plus knowledge you have gathered to fill in the missing pieces of a person when you meet them.

Now, this is good to get a feel of the person, but we frequently base key decisions on this rough picture our brain puts together. We judge a person, predict their behaviour, stereotype them, all based on this approximation. We use this as "knowledge" while it just a conjecture. So much so that it is often hard to change this "first impression" once created.. without significant effort. 

Maybe it is practically necessary in today's world. But it is good to be aware that it is so. That we are upgrading conjectures to knowledgebase. And using those conjectures to make even more conjectures.

Starting fresh! :)

There is no right. And there is no wrong.

Hence, there is no doubt.

Ha! 8:57.

Not that hard, was it?

Wake up!

Overconfidence kills.

And follow the code. That means you don't go late for work without informing even if you stay there till 12 midnight.

I seem to able to extract a weird kind of inspiration..

by listing the time remaining to a predefined deadline as my gtalk status every now and then.

Its like shouting out to the world - "This is my commitment. And I am writing it down - so you can hold me to it!"

Should use it more often to get work done. :)

And the week begins..

Here is to an intense week of clean ups and exploring new boundaries! A week after which I will come out 10 times more peaceful than I am now.

Trust.

Disappointment. Frustration. Anger. 

The culprit as always, is lack of communication.

Nothingness..

Well, if you exclude the copius amounts of sleep, laundry and cleaning room.

And a good movie..

Well rested, invigorated by the music of the morn, it's time to seize the day! 

Carpe Diem!

Important vs. urgent..

Picking the important one is a tough call to make. 

And it usually causes you a lot of pain in the short term.. 

But somewhere deep inside, you know that you are doing what you want to do - and not what you have to do. And somewhere inside, you also know that things are going to get better because of those choices. And that satisfaction makes it worth it. :)

Carpe Diem!

Lunching with fellow interns..

Much more energy and optimism.

Young, eager and innocent kids with high hopes and big dreams.. untouched by the cynicism that sometimes comes with age and experience.  Hahaha..

Lunching with colleagues..

Listening to them talk.. was pretty interesting. It is fun to silently observe. :)

There was this one guy.. was gossiping about others.. telling me not to work so late...  I found it very amusing! :)

He sits right next to me and I sensed a feeling of dissatisfaction in him from the beginning. And he is not exactly proactive about it.. want someone to change his life for him! I doubt he ll survive very long.. 

Wonderful day

WIth MBTI analysis and cooking. Very professionally done. Very insightful. Then bonding via cooking session.. very unique and innovative. Great team! Great environment!

Thank you Credit Suisse.. you have really blown me away in just 1 week! :)

Occams Razor

Don't try to over optimize :)

When life is good..

Work hard! And enjoy it!

IF you are enjoying just kicking the ball around... the goal isnt that important. As long as you strive to keep getting better at kicking the ball.

N.B When did I start talking in football-tongue??

Just do it!

My Code

In the end, it may not matter.

But the process does.

You've got to get to the stage in life where

..going for it is more important than winning or losing.

Arthur Ashe

Alone.

So much fun. So much laughter. So much life! There are people all around. So many thoughts.. So much to talk. So much to share.. This is just.. amazing!

"Heyyy Vinod! How are you? Its been a such a long time! Heard you got married! Congratulations dude.. Introduce me to your wife sometime.. Anyways, what are you up to these days? Still working for that packaging company?"

Indeed it has been such a long time since I saw Vinod. I have so much to ask him.. so much to talk to him about. We go back to our school days. Now, when was the last time I..
"Oh Hey, MJ! My God, you have changed so much!". Indeed she had grown plump. Not fat. But plump. But ofcourse, you can't say that to a girl. Not that this one would care... Her name was Nivedha. Everyone called her MJ. She had nothing to do with Michael Jackson though... But somehow, the name had stuck.... Everyone used it, but few of us knew what it meant... Fun memories!

"Yeah man.. I have been hanging out with Harry too much lately." She grins. The same bubbly, joyful voice. "I ve been helping him with one of his projects you know.. No wonder I have become so fit." The same touch of sarcasm. "Anyways, how are you holding up, buddy?". Actually she hasnt changed at all. Just listening to her makes you feel happy... There is nothing to worry about, it tells you. Really. And you agree.

"I am good, MJ.. it is great to see everyone.. all at the same place. I am completely on a high you know.". Yes I am on a high. Too many emotions.. Most of them positive.. And a touch of.. what is that? Fear? Nevertheless, I am on a high!

She mentioned Harry.. Oh I miss Harry.. the genius who always cracked everyone up. Where is Harry? I want to meet.. Aaaaaah.. look who that is! That beautiful face. With that wonderful smile on it.. So warm... so happy. She is waving at me.. I wave back.. I want to give her a hug. She does too! Fantastic! Oh, this feels great! That same distinct smell.. The same warmth. Her hands on my back. I can feel my heart pounding inside.. like those Chinese drums. Boom boom boom boom. I don't want to let go. She doesn't seem to want to, either... A simple hug. We underestimate its power....

"How are you?", she whispered. That beautiful smile again!
"I missed you." I was staring into her eyes. Those deep black eyes. They held a mysterious power. I was holding her hands..

Her left hand was locked into my right... I was holding tightly.. We were walking.. on the beach. No, not the beach. I am sick of the beach. And the bright sunlight. Let's walk away from the beach. She is saying something.. I think she agrees.. Let us get out of the beach. We start running..
It is getting bright.. The sun is rising.. I just want to keep running. With her. Not alone. Stay with me.
She is fading.. No, dont leave me... I hold both her hands. Ah this blinding light!! I stop. I hug her and hold her close to me. Stay with me. Noooo! Come back! Hold on... dont go.. STAY WITH ME! Get this light out of my face! Stay with me, Keerthi...... dont leave.

Bright sunlight.

AAAAAAAAAARGGHH! I will kill you!! Why do you have to rise everyday? You.. you sadistic ball of.. gas! Sigh.. And there is nowhere I can hide. I cant do anything about it. I feel.. powerless.

I am exhausted. Day 26. The 16th of November. It is my birthday. And I am all alone. There is nobody here. Just the water. The sand. And the trees. And that son of a bitch in the sky. I want to go back to my dream.

Why can't dreams be real?

The same thing can appear different

depending on where your focus is. 

It could change opinions radically!

Been a while...

And I have been wondering.. Why do we do what we do?

To take a small example - After the initial excitement of everyday posts, I have only blogged when I felt something significant.

Why?

 It is an unprejudiced question. There is no blame or guilt involved. It merely tries to observe human nature. And I would be the easiest subject to observe... Or would I?

Well, easy or not, the process is definitely very interesting.

So, why did I do what I did?

Maybe I was lazy.
Maybe I was trying to be different and didnt want to copy what my friend was doing (he has built a pretty successful blog since at alearningaday.blogspot.com :) )
Maybe I am a closed person and didnt want others to know what I was learning. But then, I didnt maintain a diary either.
Maybe I didnt like the idea of trying convincing myself that what I learnt everyday could be put in words. Maybe I thought my English was inadequate.
Maybe I thought I didnt learn much everyday.

Or maybe it was a combination of those.

So, what is the reason? I am not sure either. I could rationalize each/all of those reasons. Sometimes, the little voice in the head says "Naaah that cant be true!". Sometimes it says "Ah ofcourse.. that makes sense". At other times it goes "Hmmm.. maybe.."

But then what was I thinking when I consciously decided to stop? I had to pick a good reason to stop because otherwise, I would have had to conclude that I am lazy and uninspired. I could have picked any reason to rationalize. But would that be the real reason?

Your mind often prevents you from having a "heart-to-heart" talk with it. So, that you dont feel too bad. It builds a layer of rationalization on top to account for your actions - and synchronize it with what is "right" or "wrong" as perceived by the society.

I was watching Dexter (the TV serial). The process is very similar to how the serial killer rationalizes his kills.

So, which is real? The layer beneath or the layer on top?

The layer beneath because it reveals your true nature? - Or will this be replaced by the layer on top eventually?
Or the layer on top because that it what you are moulding yourself into? - Or is this a lie you are telling yourself?

Which is real? Which is the matrix?

The importance of the first follower!

http://mydd.com/2010/2/12/the-shirtless-dani

Find your first followers and build them. Even at the cost of ignoring everyone else. As long as the first followers stick to you, the rest will follow..

It is very true. What is also a great point is that being a first follower is not easy. So, be proud if you are one! :)