Check mail in PGP - without bunking work.

Its a Saturday. Office is closed. And its vacation time. There is no cluster leader during vacations.
And there is a power shutdown (not that it matters in this context, but still, no food, no nanyang supermarket, no LIFT, and no desktop. and no fan. and no light in the bathroom. and no lot of other things we are so shamelessly dependent on.)

And you want that account statement you think is in your mailbox. But you obviously dont have your mailbox key because you didnt think it was a smart idea to take half-day in office just to get the mailbox key from the extremely helpful people at admin office who are available strictly from 9-5 on weekdays only.

Ok before we proceed further - status check.

Are you lost?

What is a mailbox key you ask?

Its an old form of encryption.

And why do you need a mailbox key to check mail?

Because the SNAIL mail protocol uses it. I cant help it.

What is SNAIL mail?

It is a rudimentary form of communication in the real world which involves the tedious process of writing on paper, inserting into envelope, pasting stamp etc. and physically walking to a postbox and dropping it. And then you need to physically go get the mail from the mailbox because it doesnt support POP / IMAP etc. And yeah, it is still used sometimes for important stuff.

Anyways, now that everyone is onboard, the question is - So how?

This is how.

Step 1. Take a fork. Go to mailbox. TRy putting it into the hole to take the mails out. Realize that it doesnt work too well. And the process is too slow. Actually, this not that important. Just for self realisation. (and to make the number of steps = 3)

Step 2. Go to laundry looking for a wire hanger that u can straighten. But there are no hangers in R6 laundry, stupid! Yeah, I know. But go to laundry room nevertheless. Reason you go is less important than the act of going itself.

Find this curious instrument (christened the SplitMailSabre) under one of the washing machines. If you dont, try to find it elsewhere. It is key to success. Buy it if you must.

The SplitMailSabre:



Step 3:

It took me 5 mins to take out close to 25mails. Dont be worried if the cleaners / guards are walking around and see you. They dont care. Just do it as if it is the normal way to take mail out of the mailbox.

Oh and no, i didnt find my account statement there. Which is the irony of the situation. Infact, I didnt find anything useful addressed to me.

Disclaimer:

Please use this technique only to get your OWN mail without bunking work. The author(s) of this blog is/are not liable for any kind of misuse of the information provided here-in for illegal / unethical purposes.

The author is also not responsible if you are unable to find the The SplitMailSabre in the specified place.

PS: If you are the one who placed the SplitMailSabre in the laundry room, please accept my sincere gratitude.

PPS: Yes, I know the video doesnt show me take out the mail. Which means you have no proof. Of anything. HA! (Not that there is anything to get proof of in the first place. )