I am bad at receiving help, especially if I didnt ask for it. I instinctively reject it. The rationale being, I dont want to owe anyone anything if I can help it.
Not all help is bad. Of late, I have found that helping someone unconditionally (without any expected returns.. even implicitly) gives me maximum satisfaction. I think it would apply to most of us too. And that satisfaction is further enhanced by a thankful receiver. So for me to help and be satisfied by it, the receiver should accept it. He/she plays a big role in the process.
Every time I come home, my parents, grandparents, relatives fuss over me. Mom asks, what do you want? More food? Pillow? Are you ok? You want water? Lot of unconditional help is offered. And what do I do?
I say, no thanks. If I am really busy, I might even give a dont-bother-me look which is not exactly polite.
So, the question here is do I mind some water/pillow/food? In most cases, no I dont mind it but then I dont need it either. I d rather not be disturbed.
If I say YES, mom gets to help me, and I get to help mom help me. And perhaps i suffer minor distraction. It's a win-win anyways.
If I say NO, mom doesnt get to help me, and I get distracted anyways and I miss the satisfaction.
Logic says, why waste their time when you dont need their help... heart says you are missing the point.
My learning:
If unconditional help is offered and does not inconvenience you greatly, take it. And say thank you!
By the way, a big thanks to everyone who has received my help graciously! It has given me a lot of pleasure! :)
3 comments:
It's beyond just unconditional help, I think.
We are emotional beings.
Even the most logical among us.
At the end of the day, it's the elephant that dominates. More often than not, our rider just cooks up logic to make what the elephant feels, feel like sense.
I agree on the rider part!
What is beyond unconditional help though? Satisfaction, you mean?
Wow. never thought as much about receiving/giving help.
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